Light my fire
My last post, where I lamented being an island, was a bit unreasonable. When I don’t connect with people, when I leave the walls up, when I’m cold, detached; when I just don’t feel like talking to someone more - well that’s pretty normal.
If I’m honest with myself, the walls really aren’t up for everyone. Some people I’m automatically friends with. The chemistry is there. If they happen to be another single gay male, then it turns into something more. Simple. It’s actually happened in the past. I suppose I just questioned the chemistry thing because I was tired of not getting what I wanted, which really seems kind of childish.
And when it doesn’t happen, when there isn’t a spark, it’s probably because I have my reservations about the guy, or we’re both a little shy, or something other than “I’m a cold-hearted asshole.” And you know, all of those reasons are so ridiculously okay. And yes some people are definitely worth getting to know despite an initial absence of that spark, but overall, my intuition is better than I give it credit for. It’s time I stop stressing over it and accept that, through no fault of my own, some people just don’t set me ablaze like others have in the past. Most importantly of all, whether they light my fire or not, some things just take time to discover.
